How to Get a Tan, a Monster Bruise, and Have a Fabulous Time... All in 24 Hours!

Own a Jeep. Wait for a perfectly sunny and breezy Saturday and take the top off. Throw on a pair of boxers and a tank top and pack an overnight bag. Put some Led Zeppelin in the CD player and drive out to a cozy little house somewhere in the desert mini-mountains in the middle of nowhere, for a little R & R with some new old friends... Take the scenic route with the winding two lane mountain roads.

Reminisce. Pet the dogs, ride the horses, eat barbeque, drink, laugh; rag on your old boss. Play D.J. and make sure the music's loud. Dance. Relax in a porch swing and listen to the noise Cottonwood trees make in the wind. Tell funny stories.

When it gets dark, build a fire. Chop a dead tree trunk down and burn it. Break the branches of a dead bush and burn them too. When breaking the branches, don't forget to overestimate how much pressure it will take to break them. This way, you'll be sure your shin meets the brick lining of the fire pit. You'll have a funny story to tell your friends and a souvenir to go with it.

Eat more barbeque, help your drunken friends to bed, mix another drink, and return to the fire pit. Listen to more funny stories. Laugh. Listen to Led Zeppelin, Stevie Ray Vaughn, The Black Crowes, and Johnny Lang. Tend to your fire and watch the moon make its way across the night sky. Say good night, grab a sleeping bag, and crash.

Wake up to the smell of breakfast and the sound of friends laughing. Hydrate. Eat breakfast at a 16 x 5 foot table made out of logs. Sit in the sun. Talk. Laugh. Listen to the sound Cottonwood trees make in the wind. Say goodbye to friends who leave. Talk. Laugh. Listen to the sound Cottonwood trees make in the wind.

Throw on a pair of boxers and a tank top. Pack your bag. Say goodbye to the horses, the dogs, and your friends. Put some Led Zeppelin in the CD player and drive home. Take the scenic route...

Repeat.

As Good As New? Or As Good As Old?

Five months after a brutal ending that left my friend's heart shattered, she got a call from the man who shattered it. For her, he is the ex-boyfriend and her heart has yet to completely let go. While at this point, she is unsure of what he truly wants, she is already considering what she would do, should he decide he wants to resume any form of relationship. I feel like she's not just considering what she would do (which I fear would be to acquiesce to his request), but hoping for the chance to do it...

What is it about the old when disguised as something new that is so irresistible? Is anything old, ever really, 'as good as new'? Or is it just 'like new' until it's old again? Inanimate objects can be repaired and restored to their original likenesses and functions. But, relationships that don't work need change, not restoration, in order to function. If the original didn't work, it never will unless the people involved change.

I'm twenty-six and know relatively little of such things, but what I have been privy to has led me to believe that people capable of real and permanent change are rare. I'd like to think I'm one of them, as I'm sure everyone would, but... I'm probably wrong. I don't mean to say the idea is impossible; just that it's highly unlikely, at least in regards to big change. I am capable of changing small things. I can change habits, my appearance, jobs, friends, locations, attitude, etc. But is changing any of those things really changing?

Changing who you are, is not changing what you do, where you live, with whom you socialize, or where you work. You can change all of those things and still be the same person. Granted it is possible that lifestyle changes may, as an aftereffect, change you, but can you really predict what kind of effect they may have on you? Can you, in any predictable fashion, change who you are just by changing your life?

On the other hand, one could say that all of those things define the person but personally, I don't feel that my life defines me. I guess that might seem a little strange when you think about it but that's why I think I have such a hard time answering, "Who are you?" I don't feel that adjectives can really tell anyone who you are, they just describe the way you are or the things that you do. It's a fine and almost invisible line, but I think it's there all the same.

So people can change their actions, locations, etc. but if they, as a person, don't really change, as most of us can't, then why is it we all seem to think the 'old' boyfriend, or girlfriend, or relationship, will be different this time around? Wouldn't it really just be pretending until the real us shows up again? Well for starters, we think we've seen it happen before; with our friends, our family, and others we know or have heard of... But what have we really seen?

Take for instance, my mother, and her significant other, Noel. They dated in college over thirty years ago. They reunited after my parents divorced and have been together since (over ten years). But back in the sixties their relationship didn't have any major flaws. They didn't last because my mother moved to California and they just weren't ready for anything more. That's not a flaw, that just timing. And, I think many of us mistake bad timing for relationship flaws.

My friend's relationship was not bad timing. It was flawed; even she'll admit to it. And yet, she thinks if he says he'll be different, he will. And, in turn, their relationship will be different; it stands a chance this time around. Is she really attracted to the 'new' boyfriend or is it that she just wants the old one; the same as she did before.

That's where the real person comes into play. She wants him. She doesn't want what he does. She doesn't want their relationship. She wants him. And he may want her. He may not want what she does. He may not want their relationship. He wants her. They know the 'new' is really just 'old'. They just need a reason, an excuse, to give the 'old' a try again because, while it's old, it's still their heart's desire and to deny it is more painful than the 'what if' that didn't work out.

So, what are they supposed to do with that? Well, I've been there and it didn't work out. But hey, while it may be rare, there's always the chance you could be the exception to the rule, so I say, go ahead and lay all of your cards on the table. Tell your friends and family to shut up and support you. Take the leap and hope you land in paradise. It's always possible.

And, in my opinion... It's always worth the risk...

Older, Wiser, and... Faster?

They say we as we get older, we slow down. Our bodies, our minds, our reaction time, our senses; they all get slower and duller... Well, Saturday night I watched as a nearly sixty-seven year old man took that theory and shoved it down their throats...

A professional drag racer now in the sport only for the thrill of it had the best race of his life twenty-nine years after he acquired the title of World Champion in 1977. Twenty-nine years; that's a lot of 'older'. And yet, somehow, on a dry and windy day in Tucson, Arizona almost three decades after he was named 'the best', he blew, even himself, right out of the water.

I call him my surrogate dad because he might as well be my father and I love him to death. He and my mother have been together for over ten years and together they epitomize what it means to be 'young at heart'. If you don't know him, you might look at him and think he looks his age, but the moment you meet him, you can look at him and never guess he was a day older than fifty.

At sixty-six one could assume, no, expect, that time would have taken its toll on the body and the mind. Outwardly, it has... He does not look thirty-six, he's got a bit of a belly, enjoys 'smooth' jazz, and occasionally needs a sentence repeated in order to hear it correctly. But, while in general he may have slowed down, he hasn't slowed down enough to act or feel his age 24/7...

A bit of background: Noel Zweigler races in the 'Pro' and 'Sportsman' classes of drag racing. For those of you unfamiliar with the sport I'll give you the basics as there's a lot more to it than most people, including myself before I met Noel, realize. In most classes, the race isn't necessarily who can make it to the 1/4 mile with the fastest time. There is much more skill involved.

Drivers are required to predict how much time is will take them to reach the 1/4 mile mark. This is called their 'dial in'. Once they've established this time, then the trick is to come as close to their dial in as possible without going faster. For instance, last Saturday, Noel dialed in at 11.94 seconds. One round he was paired with a funny car that dialed in at 8.38 seconds. Noel beat him. How? He has years of experience, his reaction time was unbelievable, he knew his car, and he understands how the weather affects its performance.

Noel was given a head start equaling the difference between the dial in times. But even if Noel had been driving the same funny car and had dialed in the exact same time as his opponent, he would have won. He took off from the starting line three thousandths of a second after the light went green as opposed to the twenty-three hundredths of second it had taken his younger opponent to get off the starting line. He ran an 11.945 seconds on his 11.94 dial in (a difference of five thousands of a second) while his opponent was off his dial in by about half a second.

Noel's overall 'package', or the combination of flaws in his prediction, totaled .008; eight thousandths of a second. That's pretty much unbeatable. I'm not sure I'd even flinch as quickly when startled; and I'm twenty-six. They say those that are young at heart are generally younger in mind and body as well.

I'll say this: Noel's made a believer out of me and I sincerely hope when I'm his age, I'm still able to experience moments, however brief, like his on that Saturday night in the middle of the desert when sixty-six and thirty-six became one in the same...